Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Scorpio Rising (Ascendant)

Scorpio ascendants are very charismatic,magnetic and powerfull people. This is the strongest and most difficult ascendant of all.

Those born under this astrology rising sign Scorpio: 
 
NEGATIVE TRAITS : 
-Secretive,Wilful, Ruthless, Self-destructive, Suspicious,Moody,Sadistic,Cunning,Insulting,Intolerant,dangerous
rebelious, jealous, Possesive, Vindictive, Fears letting go of control , Greed for Power,& Lust, Can be fanatical. Obsessive Behaviour and in Sexual Matters,Paronoid,Easily Irritated,Revengefull, Quick tempered, Intense in negative emotions,Fixed/Stubborn 

POSITIVE TRAITS : Are of Emotional, Sensitive,Intensity in love, Generous,Penetrating,Protective,Magnetic,Loyal,Unshockable ,Tenacious,Self-critical,Intense Concentration,Compassionate,Probing,Loving , 
controlled emotions,affectionate when
safe,calm,placid, Capable of self-regeneration,Strong will power,passionate,Needs to channel intense emotions positively, Investigative
 
Scorpio Ascendant people have a lot of presence. There is something about them that tells the world that they are not to be pushed around. Their manner commands respect, and in some cases, fear. Scorpio rising people can be quiet or loud, but they always seem powerful and determined.Scorpio rising give very little away as to what they are really thinking and feeling, Others cannot be sure of what your true intentions are.Scorpio rising natives are drawn to down-to-earth, natural partners. Reliability in their partner is very important. They generally look for complete commitment and have little patience with flighty partners

Physical Appearance: 
Height usually above average, sexual presence ,aqualine nose or concave with sharpness, sexy,magnetic, outstanding feauture is eyes : eagle-like eyes , alert, sharp, penetrating, peirce,shiny in dark colour,often wear black,hair is typically very black ,low-hair line ,abudance of hair,has attractive looks, even when angry,quick movement 
 
POSITIVE:
The Scorpio man or woman knows what he or she wants out of life. He is a determined person. He sees something through to the end. He is quite sincere and seldom says anything he doesn't mean. When he sets a goal for himself he tries to go about achieving it in a very direct way. He is brave and courageous. They are not afraid of hard work. Obstacles do not frighten them. They forge ahead until they achieve what they set out for. They have a strong will. Although they may seem fixed and determined, inside they are quite tender and loving. He can care very much for others. He believes in sincerity in all relationships. His feelings about someone tend to last; they are profound and not superficial. He is someone who adheres to his principles no matter what happens. He will not be deterred from a path he believes to be right. Because of his many positive strengths, he can often achieve happiness for himself and for those that he loves. He is a constructive person by nature. He often has a deep understanding of people and of life in general. He is perceptive and unafraid. Obstacles often seem to spur him on. He is a positive person who enjoys winning. He has many strengths and resources; challenge of any sort often bring out the best in him. 

NEGATIVE:
The Scorpio person is sometimes hypersensitive. Often he imagines injury when there is none. He feels that others do not bother to recognize him for his true worth. Sometimes he is given to excessive boasting in order to compensate for what he feels is neglected. He can be proud, arrogant and competitive. They can be sly when they put their minds to it and they enjoy outwitting persons or institutions noted for their cleverness. Their tactics for getting what they want are sometimes devious and ruthless. They don't care too much about what others may think. If they feel others have done them an injustice, they will do their best to seek revenge. They often have a sudden, violent temper and this person's interest in sex is sometimes quite unbalanced or excessive.

Day328 Year2011

Time: 1629hrs
Mood: Groggy, with constant mood swings...


A prison. That's what my life is...
I constantly crave for the "sun", but in this darkness, it can never be found. I wonder, "how much longer must I wait?" Those without power can only do so much. I crave. I desire. But whenever the opportunity sets in, I shy away from the possibilities for a better situation. Before me, I see nothing. Behind me, I see no one. Without a future to look forward to and a past to look for inspiration, what else, I wonder, can I do? Is it just me that thinks that I am powerless? Or am I just weak to admit the fact? I don't know...
   I count the days. Time the hours and pile up the years since I've been alive, and I don't think I've ever been glad that I was alive. The existence of God eludes me. Even so, I cannot throw away my faith and the possibility that HE is always there. I'm a coward, just like some other people are. Too afraid to know the truth and hides away whenever it is presented to us. Thinking that the life we've been living is a lie and that there is no other way we can live.
   This place I'm here now is a prison. I don't know when it started, but I've encased myself away from the harms of the outside world, thinking that where I am now is much safer. In this shell of a case, I've locked all my fears, my doubts and my worries. Inside, I've locked away even my self. And now I wonder, where can it be. The real ME.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Day325 Year2011

    Even though classes resumed earlier, I only managed to gather the courage and strength to go to school today. As a depressed introvert, I base my daily activity on my capability to cope with the day's problems and misfortunes (that I already anticipate). My every move is strategically thought well according to the greatest benefit of results that I can acquire. It's sunny. The blazing sun glaring down at us in the mid-daytime. It's frustrating. How necessary it is to go to school and meet up people (hates crowds) and the reality that I have to work with them and smile at them forcibly.
    Walking outside, I quicken my pace thinking that the day would cooperate and hasten its flow of time as well. I hate everything I see. The people that gathers outside. The smoke and pollution in the air. Even the people that walk past me taking their leisurely time and keeps on blocking my way. In my mind, all I had was the goal to finish the race and walk up to the door and enjoy the cool air of my air-conditioned new room. And yet the day keeps on pissing me off...
    Outside the building I kept on seeing familiar faces, those that I've somewhat "befriended" in class. But now that I'm alone (without the company of my former buddies) I've learned the fact that the only reason they were hanging out with me was because of THEM. That in truth, there were really no REAL friends there. Again, as I've thought. To them, I am but a vague memory. Someone you brush off with on the train or somewhere and ignore the next second. Yup, I am a shadow. But to think that I used to believe on those "fake smiles". Humans really are great fakers, especially towards those that they think are of benefit to them. Yeah, I've known of this method all along. How many times in the past have I already been betrayed already? Towards them, there is no trust. Just the usual, "gamitan". I think I better rephrase myself on how I act at school. Better yet, I need to get rid of the unwanted in my precious list.
    Now that I think about it, i guess i'm too soft on people. I let them inside my life so easily since i've already been ready to let go of them as much. Even so, because of this so-called "softness", people around me take me for granted. Use me like a toy. Make every waking opportunity to step all over me! I Fu*CK*Ng Hate iT! (>_< How much hurt have been accumulated inside me already??! There's no one to talk to because every one of them is a freaking selfish BraTs! Liars, all of them! I hate them! And still I can't throw them out of my life, I start hating myself too! Just how longer must I keep on acting like an angel and paste this fake smile on my face? really?! Ugh...this is giving me a headache. Just thinking of all these things is putting pressure to me. I want to throw them out. I want to change and be the one stepping on them for a chance. But still, this mask that i wear has its benefits. So must i keep on wearing it a little longer?
    Back to school topics, I like our professor. "It" seems to be a nice one as well. Keeping up the facade and acting all obedient and goody-goody makes my grades rise. It's nice if your teacher is unbiased towards favoritism, but since you're "good and smart", they'd like to think of themselves living in my shoes from when they were younger. Though you can't admit, most people would get affectionate towards the "handsome & popular" lads in class, I know a person when i get to talk to them for a while. I can see their eyes flicker towards mine with such anticipation and hope that i'm not like the rest of the fishies in the tank that glop and stare at them like an idiot whenever the professor has school-related questions. And like a goody-goody student, i meet those expectations, reluctantly. For my benefit, mainly. As my high school teacher once told the class, there are two types of student that the teacher remembers; the naughty and the nice ones. And i'd like to be remembered as a NICE guy. "that" teacher is such a hard worker. And a slave driver at most. I've only known "it" for a few hours and i already had an idea of how "it" works. Smart, an introvert at that one and quiet, just like me! How interesting. And how BORING!
    Speaking of boring, right now I am. So, later!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Week 47 Year2011

Time: 2104hr
Mood: Sleepy, tired, Bored



    As the first entry to my newly made blog, i think it serves right to post something though I rarely do so and often on times when I feel like it. I sit here in front of the laptop. The music from my playlist keeps me company and drives my head away from the distraction of the noises outside my thinking area. Lately I feel that I'd rather move accordingly, if I permit it, without the constant thinking. I've stripped myself of the benefit of thinking for my self and the usual decision-making before moving things. Now that I think about it, I'm not the Blogger type, but since I've held up writing in my journal that is therapeutic and relieves me of the daily stress from living (before), I thought I'd write up someplace easier than doing it on pen and paper.
    I won't write what I do and take away the thrill of knowing WHO is writing here from the viewers since this is made publicly online for the benefit of mostly other people that might one day come upon this place. Let's just say that I am one DEMENTED human being, constantly changing my mood and my mind from positive to negative in an instant. Confused? Don't worry, I am too. Mostly at times. Is it hormonal? Maybe. Is it a sickness? Possibly. Maybe I'm just "sick in the mind". I don't know. I won't care neither. I'm just a person coping up with my daily life and living it until my time comes up. Or until I get bored once more. Either any of those things come first, I'll just keep on ranting here until the bell tolls.
    To those that got lost, I'd suggest you keep on with your lives. Is my life story the type people read before they sleep at night? Not really. I just wanted to say it'd be a waste of your time. Not that many of you have anything better to do at most. Even so, if you still think you'd rather hang out here, I won't mind. It's your time you're wasting, not mine. Enjoy my petty life!