Mood: Fickle
Time: 2023hrs
I have so many things in mind today. I want to do many things. I want to be occupied with countless random things. But at the end of the day, I could only do so much.
I woke up groggy in the early morning. Slept early last night too, with a headache. I will have 3days vacant this week then off to study again. I'm so bored with the usual repetition of the day. Sleep, eat, surf the net, eat then sleep again. I want to do something that matters. Though really, in the long run, these things I am collecting will matter when the time comes. Its just that I want to do something wherein I can see immediately the fruit of my labor. Yes, I know there are only a few things possible at that short span of time, but even so, I want something that would drive my name into history. Something that I can see, not when I'm gone and dead. But whenever I do try something, I become lost at self-pity and inferiority complex while comparing myself with all the other people around. And when that happens, I think that nothing matters then, whatever I do.
Also, whenever I want something and get that something, I realize that its not really that important and get bored in the end. At most, I even destroy that thing because I find it useless to me. I get bored easily so I'm never satiated or satisfied at the things that I do have. Its human nature, I guess.
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