Mood: Confused
Time: 1729hours
I'm confused.
Well, I am only human. But I tend to think about things more. And right now, relationships confuse me. I am ignorant, and not innocent, with regards to human relations. Intimate ones confuse me even more and I dwell behind the reasons one might harbor and theorize on them on my own. "Why?" "why?" "why?", that is my most favorite phrase and wonder about the truth behind it. And once more I ask, "why?"
People confide their innermost secrets to me. To that I ask, WHY? Why me? Why ask? Why question when the answer is already there? Why make matters more worse when it was too shallow to begin with? Why are you such an idiot?
Stupid A asked me if their lover loves them. S.A's lover used to be so sweet and nice. They showered gifts over their feet and the love was definitely there. But situations change and love is never eternal (based on my observations) and there are things that A's lover sees about A. A is so sure that there is no longer warmth in their relationship. Therefore, I concluded, that there isn't. Even so, A is persistent on keeping the lover for pity's sake or for what you call "pinagsamahan." I don't understand. If you already feel that there is no love and the before isn't like the now, then leave the bastard. You have your answer and you don't need a reason to leave "it". You're just looking for a reason to stay still and not make waste all the years you've been through. Also, I don't have any real experience in love, so why ask me?
Stupid B gets pregnant and want to abort the baby.
Their parents doesn't know a thing and the father insists it is not theirs. As a pro-life (due to reasons i cannot tell though personally I'd say kill the bastard), B then calls me that they will keep the child though on their own.
Stupid C asks me if the person they like like them as well. They were already in a relationship and it was the first few weeks that they were lovers and to be specific, C's lover was just in front of them so why the heck point out to me the question? If your lover is right there in front of you then ask them yourself! I'm not psychic! I don't read minds! And besides, would they confess properly if they didn't? Dimwit!
Over and over and over again in my life have I been gone to long chats with people asking questions that could have been answered appropriately should they be directed towards the RIGHT person. And over and over and over again was I asked regarding relationships that I haven't even gone through myself.
And people. They talk to me and then end up ignoring me later on after using me. Yes, people are just like that, using individuals for their benefit. I hate it. If they weren't of some use to me as well I'd have thrown them and punched them all over.
What I don't understand most is the inner workings of a man in search of a relationship. Or rather, I already know of them but doesn't want to accept that they are all just that....?
Yes, they say they want someone that they can get with but in the end they'd still choose face value over smarts. Men are shallow that way. They'd choose a beautiful body over someone that cares especially for them. Yes. I know already. I know the answer as well but doesn't want to acknowledge it. Because when I do, that would mean I will be forced to change just for those shallow reasons in which I don't want to, really. And because of this, I've come to hate them. Hating their guts. Hating their feeble and worthless reasons and thinking. Yes, hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.... it is all I can do. Hate. Though i would rather much get along with their kind than the backstabbing nature of women. Their faces are masks full of lies.
Hate.
I think I hate people.
