Time: 0211hrs
Slowly, I feel like something is breaking inside of me. All the anger and hatred I have accumulated these past years is trying to release itself from the vessel that is ME. I've tried to smile, be kind, and be just in every little thing that I do, but in the end, I am only human. When the time comes that I do break up this mask, will I regret again? I have so many things to regret. I don't want to be disappointed by the time these darkness of mine finally escapes. Besides, it is a part of me as well. This deep darkness I carry is another side of me and I intend to embrace it nonetheless. And at the moment that I do get tired of lying to myself, I expect to become the other me completely. The me that I've withdrawn from this world. The Me that is shunned by society and deemed "unfit" to exist. I think slowly, anticipate, delighted of the thought that I do finally break inside. Because by then, I won't have to lie to myself. I won't be tied down by standards that other people put up for the rest to follow. And I won't be bored looking at the same scenery everyday of my life.
So hurry up, shatter completely.
I look for reasons for this current me to be destroyed.
I only need one thing. One major thing that would make me move and convince me that CHANGE is inevitable. Just one reason is enough. Now, come. Give me one reason. Give me a reason to destroy myself.
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