Thursday, May 3, 2012

Day 123 Year 2012

Mood: Ennui
Time: 0935hrs

Have been too tired recently due to recent events that presided. The sun is blazing hot outside and the brightness of the light stings my eyes. I do not wish to go out anymore. I hate how the heat makes me sweat profusely and how the light brightly shines without due reason. As if the coldness of my heart could be thawed by the weather. As if.
I pass the days reading and logging on the net. Surfing it like the waves of the sea that runs continuously. In life, I've witnessed the coming start of another branch of life. The soon start of a family. I grow envious at the person that is giving their all for that certain goal. More envious am I of the fact that they are not like me; one without a destination and one that is constantly in craving for something that I know not.
By meeting people, I change. But only meeting them in life, I've learned that they are like ghosts that you see that pass through you and disappear afterwards. They mean nothing in the end. Just a speck of dust that clouds the eyes for a second. They can do nothing and change nothing more in the current "you". They are just there for the mere purpose of "being there" and simply existing. Why then, I ask, were we fated to meet? If in the end they would only put ripples in your waters and then sink to the bottom of the sea? Oh how the word "FATE" tests me dearly. My patience and questions pile up one-by-one. If only there were no people to torment you in such a way. If there were no people that would invade your life, making you confused and vanishing without a trace. Leaving you hopeless still and more lonely than before. That you would come to know the word LONELINESS than you've ever known before.

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