Mood: Brooding
I have no drive for anything. I don't want to do anything.
Projects keep on piling up and I have yet to move or finish something.
I am waiting.
For that fiery heat that would make my soul shiver in happiness.
The wonderful feeling of chasing something because you know in your heart that it would lead somewhere.
That sensation that there is something better to do that would amount to something after.
But it is gone.
For the time being, it does not exist.
So I stay where I am.
Lost. Alone.
Yet again.
As I see it, the world around me continues to revolve.
People go on with their lives and do as they please.
And yet here I am, being reserved, thinking I don't deserve what others have.
I am limited by my negativity.
I shy away from what should be everyone else's because I'm not confident enough to even have it in the first place.
All I can do is retire to my bed and dream where I can have what I want and do what I want without anyone else's prejudices. There I can move things by my will. I can control the things I can't. I can be who I want.
The world does not care if I stop in the middle.
It will not notice me.
It will not care what I do.
It will not change for me.
Then the world should not involve me.
I don't care if the world does as it does.
But it has rules and customs that I am forced to obliged.
And that's what I hate most.
Something that shouldn't concern me involves me.
Just because I live in it.
How stupid.
I can't even live my life as I please in this so-called "REALITY".
You just end up going with the flow.
I hate it so, so, so, much.
So much that I want to sleep inside my room and live inside my dreams forever.
In this cold, cruel world, I'd rather dream my life away.....
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