Day255 Year2014

Time: 2137hrs
Mood: Fucking pissed off


Feeling unappreciated at home.
You see, ever since my fucking crazy sister returned to normal living society instead of banging her head on the wall of the house and asking whether at her age of 30 she'd have a family...I've been the all-around help in the house. Taking care of the pets, cooking, cleaning the dishes, doing laundry, cleaning the house and almost everything one could think of doing in the house....it's been quite a toll, even if you say I deserve it, being at the age that I am without having prior work experience....yes....that is possible in this age and time. Despite all those things, I am still not alone in the house. I have my fucking lazy brother whose only excuse for not working is because he doesn't FEEL like it. Even though he has easily acquired previous working experience necessary in this fucked up society, he rejects any work opportunities because of his fucking laziness. And still, even at home, he is a pampered brat just because he's a mama's boy and the youngest of us siblings. Fucking world.

And still....considering I do all the household chores then cooks my own meals after all those things...I'm still frowned upon as a lazy-ass fatty at home. My mother pushes all the hard work on me saying it'd be good to lose those "unwanted fat" on my body, and ignoring the fact that she still has a son that does nothing at home but eat, sleep and play all day. Fucking mortified with this family!!

I work...work...work around the house, being called ever so often to do something again and still I am the lazy one in this house??! What the fuck??!

When that bitch of a mother comes home and sees even the tiniest out-of-proportion stuff here and there, she goes berserk at me. Just because I stay downstairs where all she can see is me and her fucking son of that bitch is upstairs in his room playing and watching porn comfortably in his lair, only to be called down whenever dinner is ready.

Fuck it!
I hate this fucking house!
I hate this fucked up family!

I try to be nice.
I try to be good.
I try to be kind.

I was supposed to be the black sheep of this family.
I was supposed to be free and unchained.
I was supposed to be able to go wherever my heart wishes to be.
Do things. Be selfish. Rebel.

But why am I like this??
Why am I so kind. Comforting. Understanding.
When both my siblings do not even listen.
Do not even care.
Do not even worry if my parents are weary from work....
Why must I be the kind one?
I hate it. This feeling.
No one understands me in this house.
And yet all of them expect me to be understanding. To be good. To listen.

I hate these selfish people.
I hate being born in this house.
I hate being born in this family.
I hate being born in this life.