Day351 Year2014

Time: 1438hrs
Mood: Welp..... -_-)


In front of the computer at home.
Getting bored again.
Father's here again.
Can't go to sites I want for it being R+ or so weird its just not for the general public's eyes, especially family members and parents.

I'm eating again...
This is the 3rd meal I've had for the day.
I'm supposed to be watching my weight go down not up and avoiding the foods I normally eat.
Pissed off somewhat since I was forced to eat rice this morning. And quite a lot.
Damn....damn me....

Yesterday, I had so many things planned for today, but it remains as such. Mere plans in my head.
I really have the habit of not going through with my plans, especially ones that are a pain in the ass or so boring that i could do it the next day. Need to change my lifestyle if i wanted to have some kind of life in the year to come. It's just that everyday is the same old day as yesterday, that its become a routine and so bothersome. I can't even think. It's just, like this, like this, like this like yesterday.

Phew....
I'm remembering the time I browsed through the net for some available "private service", me being like that 40 year old virgin, except for being 40. But still, a virgin for so long that I don't know anything with regards to intimate relationships that I've been thinking of paying for the experience. Which led me to realize that male gigolo fees are fucking high compared to the common female prostitute! What the fuck is with that?
Its not as if guys get pregnant or something for their asses to be much valuable than a woman's vagina.
And with women, guys could get to play with the front and the back, so its like a two-for-one sale, right?
But prostitute women get more violence and abuse from their patrons and get the least amount of payment compared to the guys. This is once more the difference with the genders and how women are looked and treated as the lesser one despite having to bear the shame doubly than males and bearing responsibility more than them. *sigh*

So yeah, fuck that.
When I'm done with my training, I'll think of a plan to be a man-whore killer sometime in the future.
Especially guys that cheat on their lovers. I wanna kill them so bad. Oh, well yes, my dear, I am a man hater. I am attracted to guys and want to get fucked by them but not to be beneath them. When and if ever i acquire a male partner in the future as well, he will be my submissive slave. If he ever leaves me, i expect him to leave his balls by the door before going out to find another person to fuck with. So to all the guys reading out there, I am quite the innocent little lamb on the outside so I do hope you have a good chance to not meeting me. But I assure you that I will be an ever faithful lover, sweet, kind, gentle and a kinky bed partner. Just don't order me around and don't try to be above me unless I let you~ <3