Mood: I wanna hurl....
Yes, not because I'm pregnant or something but because of over-eating.
Was supposed to go to a "friend's" house but due to unforseen events, couldn't in the end.
Well, its not my fault so I don't have a heavy burden in me.
Just that I felt so fucked up earlier that all the rage burned out and I turned numb once more.
Reality is so full of shit, you know?
Whenever you feel like your dreams are so close that they seem true, you wake up from life's cruelty and realize that its just a dream. And just like how people give [ GOD ] credit for in times of good things, I would like to give [ GOD ] in times of bad things as well. Making me live up to now without even letting me do what I have to do or at least telling me my purpose in life. How [ God ] always closes a freaking door in my face whenever I can see the light of hope. And just like that, my endeavors in life becomes useless.
And where does that leave me?
Here at rock bottom.
No one to lend me a help.
Even if I stretch out my arms, there's no one.
So this [ God ] doesn't exist for me.
Letting me live just to die without accomplishing anything.
Letting me see another set of day just to do nothing.
Or what? I am at fault in all of this.
That HE just gives me time and day and whatever I do with those things depends on me; pointing out that I am to blame. Yes, I've swooned over that fact in the past. I've thought about it countless times over.
Without a light, I cannot see where I am going.
So I decided to stay where I stand. That way, I won't trip and fall or lose my way.
But just like that, there is no progress.
So give me a light.
If there is still hope, then I shall grab it.
A single ray of light amidst all these darkness that surrounds me.
And yet, there is none.
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